i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
