And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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