She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize