just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize