Sry I called you an 8
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
