I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
