i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
