We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize