I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize