Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
