Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
