The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
