Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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