Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Everclear isn't food dammit
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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