if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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