Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
