omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
