The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
