my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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