Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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