i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
