I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize