Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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