i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
