and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
