drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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