Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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