It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
