Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
