In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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