just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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