Christians are straight up FREAKS
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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