She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
