Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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