i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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