Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize