so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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