'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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