She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
