So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
