I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
