I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
