my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
