The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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