Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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