well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
