Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
