You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
