Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
