I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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