I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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