I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Help me help you realize you are a moron
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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