But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
