Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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