I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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