oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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