To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
