it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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