yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
