i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
