It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We had to coat check the pizza.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
