Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
