bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
