No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
