no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
