You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
