So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
