glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
