why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
