I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
