I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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